- Diane Sullivan, mother of one year and three months old Jessica, from Ann Arbor, Michigan:
“I want to understand and decode my baby’s crying, how do I do that?”
Crying is the first thing a baby does when it enters the world and it’s the signal through which he lets everyone know he has arrived, healthy and unharmed.
To understand and decode your baby’s crying, you first need to take a look at what crying is and why humans cry. The reality is, crying is a lot more than meets the eye.
From a scientific point of view, crying has been defined as a complex phenomenon characterized by the shedding of tears without any irritation of the eye structure.
In other words, humans cry in response to an emotional state.
And while it’s true that crying has been documented in elephants, various apes, and even camels, scientists agree that only humans produce emotional tears.
The question of the function – or origin – of emotional tears remains open, but recent psychological theories of crying emphasize the relationship of crying to the experience of real (or perceived) helplessness.
From this point of view, an underlying experience of helplessness can usually explain why people cry.
In babies, this is a reality. When it comes to those still new in the world, babies use crying to signal their physical or emotional needs.
Furthermore, they use crying as a form of communication to us, adults.
After all they are somewhat limited in how they can express themselves. And while it may surprise you to know, there are three types of baby cry.
These are:
- The basic cry
- The anger cry
- The pain cry
The basic cry is a systematic cry with a pattern of crying and silence. This cry begins with a cry coupled with a brief silence, which is followed by a short high-pitched inspiratory whistle.
Then, there is a brief silence followed by another cry. Hunger is the main stimulant of the basic cry.
The anger cry resembles the basic cry but with a notable exception – this cry is characterized by more excess air forced through the vocal chords, making it a louder, more abrupt cry.
This type of cry is characterized by the same temporal sequence as the basic pattern, but distinguished by differences in the length of the various phase components.
The last one is the pain cry, which, unlike the other two, has no preliminary moaning. The pain cry is one loud cry, followed by a period of breath holding.
In many cases, adults can determine whether a baby’s cry signify anger or pain, and most parents also have a better ability to distinguish between their own baby’s cries and those of a different child.
However, the mouth of a baby can only utter a very limited array of sounds – cries, whines, and sobs – which can be very confusing and frustrating at times.
Your baby’s body, on the other hand, can convey an entire universe of precise meanings – emotions, needs, objects, and many more.
And the good news is, this can be taught. Babies can be taught body communication through gestures.
The process is called simply, signing.
- Stephanie Sanders, mother of 3-months old Patrick, from Appleton, Wisconsin:
“When should my baby/toddler start crawling, walking, and talking? (The “C-W-T” Milestones)”
Your baby is growing up. His first hand gesture, notable. His first smile, memorable. His first word, unforgettable.
And so on.
One by one, every milestone will be reached. Among them, crawling, walking, and talking are among the most important.
To understand why they happen, and most importantly when they happen, we first need to see what a developmental milestone really is.
Developmental milestones are behaviors or physical seen in infants and children as they grow and develop. In other words, child development refers to how a child becomes able to do more complex things as he gets older.
But just as with sleeping through the night, or any other ‘skill’ for that matter, every baby is unique and every milestone will happen at different times for different children.
Crawling, walking, and talking – the C-W-T milestones – are no different. Let’s look at each other to see why.
Crawling is your baby’s first method of getting around efficiently on his own. In the traditional crawl, he’ll start by learning to balance on his hands and knees.
Then he’ll figure out how to move forward and backward by pushing off with his knees. At the same time, he’ll be strengthening the muscles that will soon enable him to walk.
Most babies learn to crawl between the ages of 7 and 10 months. If it doesn’t necessarily looks like crawling, don’t worry about the style. What’s important is getting mobile.
In regard to walking, your baby’s legs aren’t nearly strong enough to support him yet, but if you hold him upright under his arms, he’ll dangle his legs down and push against a hard surface with his feet, almost as if he’s walking. This, however, is only a reflexive action, and he’ll only do it for about two months or so.
By the time your baby’s about 6 months old, he’ll bounce up and down if you let him balance his feet on your thighs.
Most babies take their first steps sometime between 9 and 12 months and are walking well by the time they’re 13 or 14 months old.
But don’t worry if your child takes a little longer, though. Some perfectly normal children don’t walk until they’re 16 or 17 months old.
During the first year, your baby is developing coordination and muscle strength in every part of his body at an astounding rate.
From then on, it’s only a matter of gaining confidence and translating it into balance.
One day your child’s standing against the couch, and the next he’s tottering into your waiting arms. Then he’s off and running, leaving babyhood behind.
The third milestone, talking, is the one that most clearly defines us as humans. Your baby learns to talk during his first two years of life. But long before he utters his first word, he’s learning the rules of language and how adults use it to communicate.
The first thing he’ll do is using his tongue, lips, and any emerging teeth to create sounds, which will eventually become real, clear words.
From then on, your baby will pick up more words from you and everyone else around him. And sometime between 18 and 24 months, he’ll start forming two- to four-word sentences.
As your baby makes mental, emotional, and behavioral leaps, he’s increasingly able to use words to describe what he sees, hears, fears, feels, thinks, and wants.
- Margaret Richardson, mother of 1-month old Joanne, from Hammond, Indiana:
“What is teething, when does it start and why baby mouth hygiene is so important?”
Teething isn’t one of those milestones a baby reaches all at once. The rite of passage from a gummy grin to gleaming teeth takes years to complete.
Teeth begin developing when your child is still in the womb. While you were pregnant, your baby developed tooth buds, the foundation for baby teeth – the milk teeth.
Very rarely, a baby is born with a tooth or two teeth – these teeth are called neonatal teeth, but the vast majority of babies sprout their first tooth sometime between the age of 4 months and 7 months.
If your baby’s an early developer, you may see the first white cap – usually one of the bottom middle teeth – as early as 3 months.
If she’s a late bloomer, however, you may have to wait until she’s a year old or older.
The last teeth to appear are the second molars, found in the back of the mouth on the top and bottom.
They usually begin to appear around a child’s third birthday. Shortly after that, your child should have a full set of 20 baby teeth.
Teething has several warning signs.
These are:
- Gum swelling and sensitivity
- Drooling
- Biting behavior
- Fussiness or irritability
- Refusal of food
- Sleep problems
Teething does not cause a fever, vomiting, or diarrhea. If your baby exhibits these – or any other troubling symptoms – give her doctor a call.
To comfort your baby during the process, you can give her something to chew on, like a teething ring, or you can gently massage her gums, after washing your hands.
A very good alternative approach is to offer her cold foods to help relieve the pain. The best options are yogurt and applesauce.
Once your baby’s teeth are in, it’s up to you to keep them clean. Mouth hygiene is as essential as body hygiene. As soon as her teeth appear, brush them twice a day using a baby-size toothbrush with a smear of toothpaste. Ask her doctor or dentist if you should use fluoridated toothpaste.
When your baby is 2 years old, increase the amount of toothpaste on the toothbrush to the size of a pea.
If you can’t reach all the tooth surfaces with a toothbrush when your child has multiple teeth, it’s time to begin flossing. To make things easier, you can use those colorful flossing sticks – your child will love them.
Baby teeth don’t begin to fall out until your child’s permanent teeth are ready to come in, beginning around age 6.